How to treat our partner in a relationship? Here, I go into a different perspective on romantic relationships that may help you. Everyone knows that little, cute cliché saying; “treat others how you want to be treated“. I remember countless adults lecturing me with that phrase when I acted like a little sh*thead towards other kids as a kid. The advice is quite universal and timeless.
But, how many people really do it? The answer, from my observations is, almost no one. Unfortunately, since it’s seriously damn good advice. Without a doubt, it’s simple, to the point, and spot on. Reflect on that phrase, how do you really treat your partner in your relationship? Just think about it for a moment.
Indeed, when it comes to romantic relationships I think that little saying would solve a h*ll of a lot issues with couples. Really, with relationships in general. But today we are discussing romantic partners in particular.
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Demands In A Relationship
To begin with, do you ever catch yourself making a long list of demands to your partner? Expecting him or her to give and do for you all kinds of things. Followed by resentment creeping in when they don’t meet your expectations, “Well I guess he doesn’t really love me like I thought he did.” Or however it may arise in your wild mind ha ha 😉
A thought I had the other day was maybe the way we treat our partners is really an extension of how we actually treat ourselves. They say your partner is your mirror. When demanding your partner do this and this for us, maybe it’s because we’re not doing this and this for ourselves? Further, when we’re not feeling loved enough by our partner, perhaps we’re not loving ourselves enough? Our partners may be a direct reflection of our own relationship with ourselves. A mirror to our inner state.
Taking Responsibility For You In The Relationship
Subsequently, if we have no love for ourselves, can we unconditionally love another? I have a feeling that is a requirement to experience true, selfless love for a partner. If you are not giving yourself what you need, why should someone else do that for you? Do you want the responsibility of being someone else’s whole world, their: ‘mother/father’, lover, therapist, maid? That seems a bit much to expect of someone to me. On the other hand, what if you lighten the load for your partner, and take on some of those roles yourself?
Of course, your partner is your teammate in life and should always be there to give you a hand when you’re in need. However, find the line so they don’t have to take on all of that by themselves. If we can show up for ourselves as much as we do everyone else, our partners lives will be much easier too.
Be A Balanced Team
Absolutely, there are times when I need my partner. Sh**ty things occur, and I feel hopeless and lost. We all have times in this difficult life when we need help from someone. A person to tell us it’ll get better, we’ll get through this or whatever the situation. Indeed, show gratitude for the help and take it. It’s important in a relationship to work as a team. Definitely, be there for each other when the other needs it, lift each other up. Treat each other with love, compassion and respect. If one person is having a bad day, ask what they need. Always, give a helping hand to your team mate.
Just remain mindful not to get caught up in having others do the work for you. Once you do, the reins may no longer be yours.In which case you give away your power and responsibility for your own life. Equally, take the assistance while taking a step forward yourself.
Happiness Is In Your Hands
If you are looking to the outside world, specifically to your significant other, to make you happy, you will never be happy. Happiness is a state of mind and arises from inside us. Looking for a person to make you happy is unrealistic and, frankly, selfish. Thinking that way means that at any moment, your happiness can be taken away.
Consequently, you are in a dis-empowered state and are at the mercy of other people. Whereas, if you do your own inner work, are the source of everything you need. Your power will always remain in your own hands where it belongs. WE have everything we need. And giving it to ourselves first will release a huge burden off yourself and your partner.
Being the source of your own happiness allows for your partner to act as a supporting role in your life, rather than the starring role. Personally, I want to have the lead role in my own life. Accordingly, this frees up space for them to focus more energy on themselves and their own inner state. You are then a way-shower for them. Lead by example. This takes a LOT of work, requiring you to face your ego over and over.
Personally, I trip and fall over my own ego all the time, but force myself to get back up and keep working. That’s all we can do; fall on our faces and get back up. Such is the journey of life, ha ha. Take a look at this post I wrote on practicing meditation to help you with your inner work.
So, maybe the next time you get caught up in negative looping thoughts of how your partner is not doing such and such for you, take a step back. And ask, “when was the last time I did such and such for myself?” These are my recent thoughts and opinions on relationships, what are some of yours?
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I feel like this is such an important post that almost everyone in a relationship or thinking about wanting to begin a relationship should read. Thank you for writing!
Thank you so much for your kind words 🙂
I agree accountability to ourselves for our own happiness is number one! Thanks for this inspiring post!
This is some great advice. You are in charge of your happiness. I never rely on anyone else to give that to me.
This is some good advice for married couples. It does take work to stay together.
This is such a great post. I love how you showed so many great ways to treat our partners. I love the idea of being a balanced team.
I’m single and kinda looking for a boyfriend/significant other. I’ll have to remember these tips. I’ve always done my best to treat my significant other the way that I want to be treated. Unfortunately, I’ve been in several abusive relationships and that’s been hard on the heart. I’ve been single for almost two years while I’ve taken the time to heal.
thank you for these reminders and tips; it is so very important to ensure there is accountability for our own happiness (for us as a person, and for the two of us, as a couple)
What a beautiful post! Everything you say in this post is true! We, too often, forget this important and fundamental advice that can solve any problem in a relationship!
I appreciate how you emphasize the importance of communication, respect, and kindness in nurturing a healthy and loving connection.
I really enjoy more information and tips for healthy relationships. Even couples in their old age can benefit from treating each other better and improve their own lives.
I agree with your points. I especially see the importance of taking responsibility of ones own actions lately.
With the first part in making demands and not feeling enough love equating to not loving ourselves enough I’ll have to disagree. Sometimes it just is what it is and we’re feeling what we’re seeing, but I can’t agree more with being a balanced team!
Those are some great tips on treating your partner in a relationship!
This is a really great post, I really enjoy reading this article cause it helps the relationship to grow.
These are all really great ways on how to treat your partner. I’m surely going to share this with my friends
Great job on writing such an informative article about how to treat a partner in a relationship! Your advice is practical, well-researched, and easy to follow. Thank you for sharing your valuable insights with us.
Love this and such a great post! For me… it is all about us being a team. We love hanging out together and are always together unless working. My daughter always jokes that my husband is always up my butt…. always wanting to hang out but that is what it is all about 😉 I could not imagine life without him! We have been together for 26 years and here is to 50 more!